I can remember very clearly, lying in my hospital bed in April 2012. I heard the surgeon and the fellows talking outside of my room. It was a beautiful day, and there I was, stuck inside this cold, noisy room, feeling like I was running out of time. I was 28 years old and hadn’t even begun to live yet. I had so much mothering left to do, so many places to see, and a whole list of goals still unfinished. I wanted another chance at love, at life. So I prayed. If I got a second chance, I promised I’d make it count. I’d be the best mom I could be, support my community, and finish this unfinished life.
Now here I am, beginning my last year in college. It’s been 20 years in the making, and though my IBD journey started way back in my freshman year, I’m closing this chapter now. The decision to go back wasn’t easy—it never is—but I knew I had to do it. Going back to school with IBD, as a single mom, was a mountain to climb, but I’m so glad I took that first step. And if you’re thinking about it, mama, I’m here to say: You can do it, too.
How to Start Your Journey Back to School
- Start Small: Begin with a few classes at a local community college. Taking summer or online classes can ease you back into the school rhythm without overwhelming yourself.
- Research Transfer Options: Once you’re comfortable, look into transferring to a four-year university. Make sure to choose a school that supports your goals, lifestyle, and family.
- Find Your Passion: Take your time deciding on a major that speaks to you. This is your chance to pursue something you love while keeping your IBD and family in mind.
- Rely on Online Courses: Online courses are a lifesaver, especially when dealing with unpredictable flare-ups or mom duties. Balance your in-person classes with virtual ones to ease your workload.
Balancing IBDMom Life and College
It’s not easy juggling mom life, patient life, and student life, but it’s absolutely doable! Here are a few ways to make it work:
- Be Transparent with Professors: The key to success is open communication. Visit those office hours and connect with your TA’s. Let your professors know about your health needs and request accommodations if necessary. Most schools are more than willing to work with you.
- Get Accommodations: Don’t hesitate to reach out to your school’s disability services. Whether you need extra time on tests, a flexible attendance policy, or a note-taker, accommodations are there to help you succeed.
- Choose the Right University: Proximity to an IBD center and your support system can make a huge difference. Also, look for campuses with family housing and family-friendly facilities. You need a school that understands your unique needs as a mom and a patient. Some universities have IBD Centers attached to them, talk with your physician about possibly transferring your care to that facility. Keep everyone in the loop as you get closer to your decision.
- Do All The Things: This is your do-over, mama! So, go after everything you’ve wanted to experience—attend those seminars, join campus leadership, study abroad, and yes, that’s totally doable with a family! It just takes a little planning. Pick destinations where you’ll have the support you need, whether it’s for your kids or your IBD. When I studied abroad, I chose Washington, D.C. to intern on Capitol Hill and England, both places where I felt comfortable and had access to help with my IBD. This is your moment—take advantage of all those opportunities you couldn’t before.
Make It Work for You
Remember, this is your journey. Take it at your own pace, and don’t compare it to anyone else’s. There’s no rush. You’re setting an incredible example for your kids by showing them the importance of resilience, persistence, and never giving up on your dreams.
Don’t be afraid to lean on your support system—your friends, family, and the school resources. Get connected with on-campus healthcare and keep your IBD team in the loop. Your health is a priority, so make sure your school’s healthcare options work for you and your family.
Mama, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can do hard things. Whether it takes you 4 years or 20 years, you’re making it happen, and that’s what counts. Take it one day at a time, show up for yourself, and know that this is your second chance, just like I prayed for in that hospital bed all those years ago. You’ve got this. Let’s keep pushing forward! 💪🏽
