Hey, y’all! I know it’s been a minute. Chile it has been a time! Let me tell you—being a single mom, a student, and living with IBD is like juggling fire while riding a unicycle. And, of course, I thought I could add a few more tricks to my act, like studying abroad and interning on Capitol Hill, all while convincing myself that my pain, fatigue, and anxiety were just “normal” IBD symptoms. Spoiler alert: They weren’t.
Turns out, living with constant pain and exhaustion can mask some serious complications. By the time I figured it out that what I was feeling was not related to IBD but something all together different, I was feeling defeated—like I’d failed myself by not catching it sooner. I’ve been a patient for most of my life, you would think that by now I can tell when something is more serious than usual. Or that the pain is a little more intense. I mean, seriously? But apparently not. It was like I was almost immune to what was happening and I was pushing through until I got knocked on my ass. My main concern was how this happened and how it happened to me, of all people. I was doing all the things—taking my meds, eating my veggies, resting when I could—but I realized that sometimes, despite our best efforts, stuff just happens. And it’s not our fault.
But here’s the deal, mama—we can’t let those setbacks make us stop showing up for ourselves. Feeling down? Sure, that’s part of it. But staying down? Nope, that’s not an option.
Mental Health Resources:
Need a little extra help? Reach out to NAMI or the Crisis Text Line. Therapy on a budget is out there, and let’s not forget the power of a good meditation app like Calm, AbleTo, or Shine. If you’re struggling with the unique challenges of being a Black woman navigating mental health, Blk Haven is a phenomenal resource that offers a safe space for Black women and femmes. And don’t forget the Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 1-833-9-HELP4MOMS. Plus, if you’re seeing a GI who works out of an IBD center, check with the center about mental health resources—they might have something you didn’t even know was available. IBD Centers are also a great resource when it comes to mental health. If your GI practices out of an IBD center, contact the social worker and ask for mental health support. Often the center will have a psychiatrist or mental health professionals who work with IBD patients and can either take you on as a client or support you by facilitating help.
Female Health Resources:
Planned Parenthood and FQHCs are there for those of us who might be rolling without insurance. You gotta keep those lady parts in check!
Showing Up for Yourself:
It’s all about boundaries, baby! Say no when you need to, take those bubble baths, stop taking calls after a certain time, close the laptop, take the walk and journal like you’re the next great novelist. Do all the things you need to do to help protect your own peace and well being. You do not need permission to do so. It is not luxury, it is a necessity.
Asking for Help:
I will be the first to admit that I have a very hard time asking for help. It isn’t that I feel too good for it, it’s simply that I feel like a burden when I do ask. But I have to remind myself that when people say, “how can I help you” or “How can I show up for you?”, they mean it. So, it’s important to let them help you. But when you are used to not asking for help, it can be hard to know where to start. So, here are some starter questions:
- “Hey, can you help me out with [specific task]? I’m juggling too many plates over here.”
- “I could really use someone to talk to about [specific issue], got a minute?”
Remember, there’s no gold star for toughing it out alone. Asking for help isn’t weakness; it’s strength. So, keep pushing forward, and let’s keep that crown straight, even when it feels a little heavy. We’re in this together, and as always—you’ve got this, girl! 💪🏽✨