After you have a baby you are ushered into this lovely sorority sisterhood of, Mommy Life. And like any type of group there will be the people you connect with and the people you don’t. But no matter what, you are apart of this club with a life long membership. And the local chapters vary by neighborhoods, occupations, culture, age of children, amount of children, etc. etc. I can tell you what I don’t run into. Moms with IBD. I’ve met moms who have cancer, diabetes, arthritis and even IBS. But hardly any moms with IBD. And definitely no moms with Ostomies.
I know you exist. You are out there reading this blog or commenting on my Facebook live videos. I never see you in the mom groups. Why? Because more often than not, moms with IBD are in the IBD closet. And I know that just based on the numbers of women diagnosed that I have sat across from you at a mommy & me class. IBD invisible to the world, even to the others who have it. We sat there on the mat, toddlers in our laps, clapping along to the music trying to ignore the looming shadow of pain & urgency hanging over us. Both together, suffering in silence. Afraid of judgement or confusion. Afraid of labels & insensitivity. Or just wanting one single moment to just not be about the internal war your guts have waged against your body. And yet, we have both missed playdates, meet ups & mom’s night outs several times because of IBD. Being labeled a flake or unorganized because the idea of saying, I have Inflammatory Bowel Disease, is just to complicated. Or embarrassing. Or…you’re just tired of saying it out loud. Tired of IBD controlling every little part of your life. And for once, you would like to just feel as good on the inside as you may look on the outside. I get it. You’re tired of people not getting it. Tired of always having to explain yourself.
Well, there is a solution to this. Come out of the IBD closet. Explain it once and be done. Who ever doesn’t understand it after that, they go on the, Buck-it List. They don’t understand why you can’t stand at the carnival booth for more than 3 hours…BUCK-IT! I do think it is important to just say it out loud. Not just for their sake, but for your own. Just be upfront and say, “I have an autoimmune disease. It’s unpredictable and can be debilitating. Sometimes I will back out at the last minute. There is nothing I can do about that.” 10-1, there is someone else in your group who is suffering from something and will relate. It will help you not feel so alone. So often in motherhood, we suffer in silence. But we have this awesome community. There are so many of us. We are here for each other, so reach out. Motherhood & Chronic Conditions are enough on their own. Then you combine them together…that’s a lot for one human to carry on his/her own. Just think. You have not only have a group of people that also have the Elmo Potty app on their phone. But if you’re sick or need anything, you may receive the support you need. A village. A village is important for you & your kids. So come on out, mama! We got you!
Hi! My name is Brooke. I have IBD & Arthritis. My diseases are unpredictable, so often I have to modify my volunteer work or I just can’t make it. But I’m happy to be apart of this group and I look forward to making friends!
