Happy UnBirthday To Me!
No it is not my birthday. However, yesterday we did celebrate my SECOND BIRTHDAY as my mom calls it. April 7th marks the day my life changed forever! It’s the day I had my total colectomy. I closed my eyes April 7th in the worse pain I had ever experienced, prayers snuggling me close and surgeons ready for battle. After the fog cleared and the dust settled on April 8th, I woke up a different person all ready! That daily irritating non stop pain was gone. I mean gone. Not suppressed! It was like it never existed.
I didn’t know what to think. I had no colon. No pain. And I had gained an ostomy. I felt ready to take on the world and yet afraid of it all at the same time. Had I lost one form of isolation just to gain another? What would my life be like now? Could I really have a full life back?
Well here I am one year later. I can’t believe it. I’m actually here and functioning. Still healing and adjusting. I tend to speed up and try to take on the world that was passing me by before, but then my body reminds me that it still needs some sick leave! I didn’t realize just how much pain I was tolerating and pushing through on a daily basis. You could call me a lucky kitty, I say blessed. Blessed because I was allotted two miracles in my life. I was given Jaxon, who by all accounts shouldn’t be here. And I given my life back…in more ways than one. It hasn’t been an easy road. There have been some very very overwhelming moments. Like I said, I am adjusting. I haven’t gained all my weight back, but at least I look more like the babysitter and not the malnourished pre-pubescent tween! I guess you could say I take it all in stride. Not to say I don’t have my moments, because I do. I do have my moments. However, that’s all that they are…moments. Fleeting moments that don’t extend past those few minutes of sorrow or self-pity.
In this year I have learned a lot about myself and my strength and endurance. I’m also learning how not to sweat the small stuff because in the scheme of things, a lot of this small crap just doesn’t matter! Learning, adjusting, listening…then readjusting. Trying to take it all day by day.
A HUGE thank you to my family, friends, followers and everyone who has prayed and supported me and Jax in some way throughout this whole ordeal. And a HUGE HUGE Thank You to the Gastro-Team at CEDARS SINAI MEDICAL! That includes those WONDERFUL E.T. Nurses who were there letting me cry it out at first Ostomy site, all the way to end when I couldn’t keep a wafer on my irritated skin! I am forever grateful!
