No it is not my birthday. However, yesterday we did celebrate my SECOND BIRTHDAY as my mom calls it. April 7th marks the day my life changed forever! It’s the day I had my total colectomy. I closed my eyes April 7th in the worse pain I had ever experienced, prayers snuggling me close and surgeons ready for battle. After the fog cleared and the dust settled on April 8th, I woke up a different person all ready! That daily irritating non stop pain was gone. I mean gone. Not suppressed! It was like it never existed.
I didn’t know what to think. I had no colon. No pain. And I had gained an ostomy. I felt ready to take on the world and yet afraid of it all at the same time. Had I lost one form of isolation just to gain another? What would my life be like now? Could I really have a full life back?
Well here I am one year later. I can’t believe it. I’m actually here and functioning. Still healing and adjusting. I tend to speed up and try to take on the world that was passing me by before, but then my body reminds me that it still needs some sick leave! I didn’t realize just how much pain I was tolerating and pushing through on a daily basis. You could call me a lucky kitty, I say blessed. Blessed because I was allotted two miracles in my life. I was given Jaxon, who by all accounts shouldn’t be here. And I given my life back…in more ways than one. It hasn’t been an easy road. There have been some very very overwhelming moments. Like I said, I am adjusting. I haven’t gained all my weight back, but at least I look more like the babysitter and not the malnourished pre-pubescent tween! I guess you could say I take it all in stride. Not to say I don’t have my moments, because I do. I do have my moments. However, that’s all that they are…moments. Fleeting moments that don’t extend past those few minutes of sorrow or self-pity.
In this year I have learned a lot about myself and my strength and endurance. I’m also learning how not to sweat the small stuff because in the scheme of things, a lot of this small crap just doesn’t matter! Learning, adjusting, listening…then readjusting. Trying to take it all day by day.
A HUGE thank you to my family, friends, followers and everyone who has prayed and supported me and Jax in some way throughout this whole ordeal. And a HUGE HUGE Thank You to the Gastro-Team at CEDARS SINAI MEDICAL! That includes those WONDERFUL E.T. Nurses who were there letting me cry it out at first Ostomy site, all the way to end when I couldn’t keep a wafer on my irritated skin! I am forever grateful!
