Marf!

Sigh…My Kid…Sigh… Oh, Hippo. He’s like a sponge for everything and it always comes out at the most random times. Like you know when you need to get real information out of him and he’d rather download all the random crazy housewifethings he’s picked up from conversations, books and television. I know you know what I’m talking about, I’ve figured out that this is just what kids do! You give them a simple task, like for instance, you’ll say ,”Please go and clean your room before dinner.” And instead of giving you an easy answer of, “Sure Mommy, no problem!” or “Right Away!” or perhaps, “You got it mom, anything for you!” (Sometimes I like to pretend I gave birth to The Beaver), you get a download of about thirty phrases and situations they have taken ¬†and mixed into a mixing bowl and they spew it out at you in a way that only makes sense to them. *Puff of Breath*

Okay so I had one of these days a few weeks. I asked Jaxon to do a very simple thing, like pick up your toys and instead of getting a simple yes, I got a straight faced, “Marf.” *Pause* Marf?! Seriously! What the heck is a Marf?? So I ignored the Marf or whatever and asked him again. And again, “Marf.”. Sooo is this a yes or a no? Or are you subtly telling me to stick it where the sun don’t shine?! Then I ask him about it. What is Marf? Where did he hear it? All I got back in an answer was, “Marf.” Suddenly my grandfather came out of my mouth and I heard myself saying, “Boy if you don’t go on in there and do what I said. Stop all this Marf business!” Yes, this nonsensical answer transformed me into a 70 year old grumpy man from the South. And I found myself irritated. Like irrationally irritated! I think because I really didn’t understand what the word meant or where it came from and the more I tried to ask him about it the more he answered me with, “Marf!”. But it wasn’t just the word, it was the waaay he said it. It wasn’t in a bad or condescending tone. It was a statement, calm and collective. Like I should know exactly what he is talking about. But I didn’t, at all!

This went on for several weeks. The boy was answering with, “Marf!” at least twice a day. And the longer this went on, the stronger the twitch in my eye got. I mean it was really starting to irritate me that I wasn’t in on this kid language. My friends started laughing and cracking jokes about Jax speaking a foreign language he read about while surfing “my gmail” (which is his word for the internet and email) or that perhaps Jaxon was just a nice, cute alien that was planning on taking over the planet and he was dropping hints about his language to get me use to it before he took me back on his mothership… I told you my friends work in entertainment! Well, it got to a point of pure irkingness (no not a word, but you’ve all shared this emotion) and I thought, you know what I’m gonna fix him with a little reverse psychology.

So there we are one day and Jaxon is doing the classic, “Mom, mom, ma, mommy, mom, ma, mama, mommy, mom, mom, mom…can I, please, please, can I…can I…yes? yes? Please?” and finally I turned to him, straight faced and say, “Marf!” without skipping a beat he giggles and says, ” I know, right?!” turns on a heel and walks out of the room leaving me stupefied, stumped and mouth hanging open. Really?! I just got had by a preschooler! AND WHAT THE HECK IS A MARF?!

After a quick internet search I, me, mommy, Brooke Abbott have found…MARF!!!! Oh no buddy! I will not be 640px-How_to_Train_Your_Marfoutsmarted by a three year old, I have Google! I am mommy, hear me roar! I’m in charge here! And now I’m in on the Marf! Marf is a character on a show called, Robot & Monster who is a small robot pet who only says, Marf. I don’t even know how he saw this show, but now I know what it is, where it is and when it comes on! Now, I’m sure you’re wondering why couldn’t he just say that when I asked him? Well, I’ll tell you why. He’s a smart little whipper snapper and he knew it was irritating me. According to most folks, I get annoyed easily and a lot of people find it humorous. My son is one of those people, I suppose. He was getting a kick out of the whole thing! Well, guess what, party’s over kiddo!

MARF!