Mom, No, Mommy, No, Ma, No Mommy, No, Mom, Moooommmeee, NO!

Sometimes I feel like the toddler stages are spent with you looking at your child wondering why they are acting like the kids on nanny 911. And then wondering why they are acting like the kids on nanny 911. You aren’t the type of parent who has the kids on nanny 911. I know I am not the parent who would ever have kids like those on nanny 911. Yet I have found myself having stare down contests with my two-year old. Then there was that time we were walking in the mall and suddenly his hand slipped from my hand and when I looked down he was on the floor throwing his body around screaming incoherently. Or what about that time he laughed in my face when I spanked his little hand for hitting the dog? Or this constant NO he says to EVERY THING!! REALLY SON?! You’re just gonna say No to everything? Where did I learn that word? And where did he learn things like, “I won’t” “Not today!” “I don’t want to” “I don’t like it” I mean I want my kid to have an opinion, but I don’t even know if this is an opinion or him just being stubborn. Sometimes I wonder if he even knows that the word, Yes exists. I swear when my kid isn’t saying my name over and over again, he’s saying No over and over and over again!!!

The hippie in me screams out, “Don’t shatter his spirit. Only use positive reinforcement. Let him express himself!” Then the sleepless mother with a headache from the No scream-a-thon is looking ferociously for the time out chair. And then there is the southern mother in me who looks him in the eye ball and in the lowest calmest voice I don’t even recognize, I hear myself say, “Boy if you don’t shut your mouth right now, I’m gonna give you something to say no about. Now find a book to read and chair to park your boom boom in. I don’t want to hear another word, you hear?!” The sad part is there are days when all three of these personalities lose! There isn’t one rule to stand by when disciplining because every situation is different. You can’t always let things go, Time out doesn’t always work, talking it out isn’t always the solution and spanking  doesn’t always get a result. So you do the best you can with each situation. One thing I never do is punish without explaining why he is getting punished or spanked. But then of course you get hoodwinked with the super sweet I’m sorry and shower of kisses before he takes off to cause more havoc!

And is it just me or is it like completely over night that your sweet toddler who does everything you say turns into Dennis The Menace?! I literally feel like one day, Jax woke up and became the spokesperson for the The Terrible Two’s. I can honestly say that while I was a babysitter/Nanny I don’t ever remember it being this scary. It’s like one minute I have this sweet amazing brilliant funny little guy who dances, asks cute questions and smothers me with kisses. And then in a flash when he realizes things may not go his way, I feel like I’m either being punked or on an episode of Nanny 911. I have become one of those parents I would look at and wonder, “So you’re gonna just let you’re kid carry on like that?!” Perhaps this is God getting me back for being so damned judgmental and not having walked a day in their shoes. Well I’m in their shoes now and, well… HELP ME NANNY 911!!!

Someone told me the other day that 3 can sometimes be worse than 2……BUT… It doesn’t last forever! No, it gets better. They start to understand consequence and punishment. They start to like saying yes instead of no. They enjoy pleasing you and helping you around the house and being around you. Then…they turn 13…. Damn!

Ps. Your parents are laughing at you! I know my mom is for SURE! She giggles something about payback or something. Yea…Yea…