I went into 2018 very optimistic. 2017 brought a lot of death, a lot of stress, a lot of uncertainty. I put a lot of emphasis on the year as a whole being something I could look back on with joy and accomplishment. I had labeled it, “my year” before it even began. I believed in the power of hope and faith. 2018, was my year…but it was not the streamline of successes. In fact, it was the most turbulent flight of life, I have taken in a very long, long time.
The end of the year forces us to reflect back and propels us to seek a fresh start. We wait an entire year to begin anew. Yet, we wake up every single day with a new day of unexpected misfortune and triumphs. Everyday is a cluster of moments through peaks and valleys. Some, outstanding! Some, disappointing! Some of these peaks cluster, where we leap from one amazing moment to the other. And some of these valleys seem to never end. But they do end, and I suppose that’s where the hope comes in.
This past year, was difficult for me personally. I took hits to my health. Hits to my relationships. Hits to my pocketbook. Hits to my confidence. It’s difficult for someone who is preaching and advising others on seeing the silver lining, to practice what she preaches. Advocacy can veil your humanity, and you often forget that just like the people you are helping, you too, are human. Well, damn! I just want to be able to help people. But sometimes I forget that I don’t advocate because I’ve figured it all out. No, that’s far from the truth. I advocate, because I’m working through it and I want to share the tools I use. Advocacy is sharing. And I can share because I’m here. I’m alive. Because I am alive, there is the opportunity to start over. Not at the beginning of the year. Everyday. Every single day is my opportunity to start over. Everyday brings the opportunity to trudge that mountain to get to it’s peak. I may not get there every day, but some days I do. I suppose those are the moments I should focus on.
That being said, what did an entire year bring me? It brought me, IBDMoms. It brought me new avenues of advocacy work. It brought me a new niece. It brought me a new school for my son. It brought me remodeled relationships I thought were lost. It brought me a new treatment plan. It brought me a larger blog audience. It brought me hope. It brought me love. Each day brought me something new to build from & learn from. Those are things I can hold on to, to motivate me to get through each day of the upcoming year.
So, today as we write down our resolutions, organize our hearts & minds and celebrate the closing of an entire year, let’s focus our days. Living through each and every day to come, while appreciating it’s peaks & valleys. Focusing on the journey and not the outcome. Let’s resolve to take each day and start a new. Relieve ourselves of the unnecessary & unrealistic pressures of creating an entire year of winning. Let’s instead hope to make an entire year of living.
Love you all so much!