Stalled

I over did it. The pain in my right hip and the cramp near my scar is letting me know that, “Girl, you over did it!” Why do I do this to myself? But really who else is? If I don’t spend time with Jax, who else will? He’s only got one mama. He wanted to go to church and have breakfast and play with Mommy in the park. Not sure what other Mommy he has that will do all this, so I guess it’s just me.

Sure I could have said, “Sorry baby, but Mommy needs at least one day off.” or “Mommy’s arthritis feels like its starting to flare up, let’s just lay around on the couch all day long!”. Then not only am I allowing the disease to control my life, but I’m allowing it to control his as well. That’s not fair! What a load of pressure for a kid to have to feel like he can’t ask his mom to just spend some time with him on the weekend for fear she might be too ill. And so because of that, I’m lying here, typing and wondering why my internet is sprick sprocketing on me.

You see it’s not just the taking him out and driving. Once we got home, he needed dinner, a bath, laundry washed for this week and you know perhaps a little affection and a bedtime story. Then I had to upload film and photos, watch a screener, return emails, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. ETC!!!!!! And I still have clothes to fold! I really should be asleep. Warm and cuddly in my sheets…ugh…

I over did it!