thankful
With Thanksgiving coming up, we usually try and take this time to reflect on all the amazing things in our life. But recently I’ve been thinking and thinking and thinking some more. It wasn’t necessarily sparked by the season of giving, I’ve just been inside of my head. Thinking. Mostly about my life as a mother and as a patient. And I realized something. I realized, that most of the time that I think about my job as a mother and my life as a patient, I think negatively. I always start off thinking about what I am not doing or what I haven’t been able to do with or for my son, because of my restrictions. I’ve been thinking about how much he’s missing out on because his mother has physical limits. I think about the job opportunities I’ve had to turn down because of my physical limitations. I think about the kind of life we would have had, had I not gotten sick. What I never think about, first, is the amazing life we have NOW! Like, right now!
The night the cubs won the world series, I thought about my dad and my grandpa. I thought about the fact that my dad wouldn’t be able to watch such an amazing night, with his own kids. And how my grandfather had waited his whole life to witness what I was witnessing with…my…son. Wait a minute. I was with my son…watching the cubs win the World Series. Once again I was witnessing history with my son. And I got to thinking. I got to thinking about our life, and all of the things we have done. Our adventures, post Jpouch surgery, have been EVERYTHING in life! We have an extraordinary life! We have an amazing life because we are living it!
5 years ago…our life was fragmented. Newly single parent household. No home. No car. No job. And I was sick. Slowly but surely, dying from complications from Ulcerative Colitis. And then the heavens opened up and I was given a second chance to get it right. I am so grateful for that chance, this Jpouch treatment. It’s been the gateway to one crazy mommy adventure. The things I’ve been able to do with Hippo; from attending the DNC & watching Presidents, past & present speak, down to having family movie night with Marvel & DC movies; has been the absolute best life. I couldn’t have written a better life. Having this disease has forced me to push myself to find the life in every little thing. Everything has a moment to cherish and love. Every single second is a moment. A moment to be grateful.
Starting tomorrow, for the next 10 days, I am going to be grateful. Only express gratitude. For the next 10 days, I am only letting the light in. I will find 10 things each day to be grateful for because I’m sure there are more than 10 things a day to be grateful for!
