I thought I was all done posting for the day when I look up to find my kid in my Ray-Bans, Brobee T-Shirt, Sans the pants, two socks and one shoe! Oh yes, he did and he is! What I am most surprised about with this outfit is that the pants are not on my kid’s head where he can whip it around like Willow Smith! By now you are probably on the floor laughing at the thought of my 2 year old with a big round belly, who is the size of a 4 year old looking at me like, “What? Is there something wrong with my outfit?”! And that’s okay, because if you are a parent who is laughing then you have a kid that will probably do this very same thing tomorrow. And if you are a single person without children, you will get your day! Oh don’t you worry, you will get yours!!
One day you single childless person will be that person pushing a mini pirate around in a grocery cart. Or you’ll be walking a real dog on a leash down the street with a toddler puppy in the stroller! Oh yea! Even you will fall victim to an amazingly wonderful embarrassing imaginative toddler! You too will hear your child announce to the sushi bar that they have pooped! Oh yea! You see you think you are laughing at us and our embarrassment, lack of sleep or sex, and plates of cold food. But really I am here to tell you, us parents are laughing at you. Laughing the most sinister evil laugh that it would put Disney villains to shame! We laugh because we know that one day you will be us looking like scared goats being sent up for the slaughter when your kid insists on wearing a winter knit cap, a colorful tutu, striped leggings, a lab coat and rain boots to go to the movies and you will not be able to convince them otherwise. I look at my single childless siblings and I rub my hands together laughing, waiting for the day when Jax is wearing all of his clothes at one time and their kid as undressed at the sushi bar and refuses to put their clothes back on!
Now if you will excuse me, I have to get my son and dog out of the window and stop them from barking at passerby’s!