I wrote this on my BrooklynBites blog on Jaxon’s second birthday. Thought it was appropriate to copy it over here to share with my new followers. Enjoy!
My sweet sweet Jaxon Lee Coltrane,
Happy 2nd Birthday! It has been the most amazing 2 years of my life! No really, you have no idea. Like Um-ma told me when I was younger, I would never understand how much she loves me until I had my own lil’ boo. Well now I have my own lil’ boo and I get it. I so get it! You are every heartbeat, every breath, every ray of sunshine, every ounce of my joy.
On this day, beginning of the second year of your life, you and I will now begin a whole new life together, just you and me. Kinda like Batman and Robin, except we don’t have the super cool capes and Morgan Freeman isn’t going to make us a car to drive over trucks in. But you and I will most certainly take this life by the bull horns together… oh and with Satchmo… and your blanket…but the muslin fishy one, not the green one with the lion, because the fishy one can fit in my bag easily and it’s good for all seasons. But I digress. My sweet angel, you should know that mommy will always try her best at this thing they call parenting. However you should probably know that most of the time, I won’t get it right. And that’s okay because you will try your best at this thing they call being a kid and you won’t always get it right either. So let’s just go easy on each other when the other messes up. You see no matter how much of an embarassing, self righteous, nagging, old, repetitive, non-understanding, over reacting mother I become… I am still your mother. Yes yours. Your spirit and God chose me to be YOUR mother. So next to your father I am the only person in the world that loves you more than it is physically possible to love another human being. Basically kid, I baked you in my belly for 10 months and allowed you to make a gaping hole in my belly for you to emerge into the world from after 3 weeks, 1 day and 16 hours of labor and 60 lbs of weight gain… I’d say you owe me!
Okay all jokes aside, you are an amazing human being. Yes, people say that about their kids all the time, but that’s just because we see in you what you don’t see yet. Mommies and Daddies really do know it all. And in you, my son, I see greatness. Beyond what I could have even imagined for myself. You see now your world is just counting up to 20, Yo Gabba Gabba songs, a talking pig named Olivia, 5 variations of the alphabet song and cuddling next to your Um-Ma at night with cookies. But I see what you will be later, I saw it the very first time I looked into those gray eyes at 8:05 pm October 21st, 2009. You looked up at me and I saw the greatness in you. And now when you look at me with that same twinkle I get excited about what is to come. How you will make your mark on this world.
Son, hear me when I say that I don’t want you to be My son, be YOU. Don’t be an American, be a human. Don’t be a democrat, just be aware. Don’t be straight, just be happy. Don’t be an athlete, have fun. Don’t be a christian, be the love you see. Just be, son! Enjoy your life the way YOU want to live it! Be who you are meant to be. There is so much love, potential, brilliance and truth in you, don’t waste it trying to be something you think I expect you to be. What I expect you to be is just you. I will love you everyday more than I did the day before, that will never change. I don’t think I knew what true love was until that very moment I heard you cry your first cry as you took your first breath! You are apart of me. I felt you move in my belly before you had toes. I know you better than you know yourself. And I will ALWAYS be here for you. If ever there is a time when you think I am too far away, just close your eyes and take a deep breath, my voice will be there singing lullabies until your soul is calm.
Happy Birthday Jax! Mommy loves you. Yes I do! A bushel and a peck! A bushel and a peck! A bushel and a peck! And a hug around the neck! *muah*