Up late listening to music and remembering special moments in my childhood. They aren’t all major time stopping moments, but they all hold such a great place in my heart. Some kids don’t even get to have one grandparent and I grew up with my three grandmothers (two biological, one step), a grandfather, my great grandmother, and all of my great aunts and uncles. And when I saw grew up with them, I mean spent significant time, cultivating relationships with these people. They were such a big part of my childhood.
Not all of them made it to see me become a parent and it saddens me to think about all that Jax missed out on. He would have loved coffee with Nanny, or playing records with my grandfather. Singing songs with Jodie and laughing with Yolanda would have made his weekend! But then I think about what he does have. He still has my grandma who he sees just about everyday. He has as close of a relationship with her as me, my brothers and cousins have. He skypes and sings to my grandma, Gamby who is my step father’s mother. And although he’s never met my father’s mother, he still calls her and loves her dearly. Then there are my aunt Lonnie & Uncle Harry that he has affectionately nicknamed Lon (pronounced LO-Own) & Uncle Har (pronounced H-Air) that he just adores. His face lights up as soon as I say we are going to their house, like mine did when I was little.
The day after Christmas, me, my grandma, my mother, my brother kirby and Jax all went over to my Aunt Lonnie & Uncle Harry’s house to hang with my cousin’s from up north and my other cousins that live down here. Jax is use to being the only child and my little cousins, Thad & Dominic are used to being the youngest, so when the three of them get together it’s serious Dude Time! This rime Jax got to sit at The Dude Table with all the other boys instead of next to me at the boring adult table. He was such big cheese, he didn’t even want me to cut his chicken up. LOL! What was going to be a quick snack, hi and bye session, turned into hours of dinner, wine, laughs and shared dessert. It felt like no time had passed since we’ve all seen one another and it was exactly what we all needed.
On my hardest days with IBD, Arthritis, Fatigue, Pain & single parenthood, I hold on to moments like those. They aren’t these grand, time stopping, moments of realization or change. They are just moments chock full of love. They are moments that will never leave you and can’t be taken away from you. Jax may not have every moment that I had growing up, but he has his own moments. And I am so blessed to be able to give him those!
