This guy I’ve been emailing on Match goes through this list of things he likes to do after work and then he asks, what is my evening like. I suddenly flash into That’s So Raven like vision spin and my average evening is laid before me:
Trying to hide vegetables behind meat and rice, and threatening my kid to swallow and not spit back out at me. The feeling of something sticky on the side of my face, but I can’t get to a mirror to see exactly what it is. The bottle of wine that is calling my name but I can’t get to it because I’m tripping over MegaBlocks, Hot Wheels, my dog who can only see out of one eye and likes to lay in the middle of the floor and the random dog toy! I finally get the kid in and out of the bath, story, prayers and bed. Then I back track all the way back to the kitchen, picking up random toys on the floor, sippy cups (yes multiple, how I don’t know) hiding all over the living room, putting DVD’s back in the cases, and plucking crayons out from under the 80lbs dog. I pour myself a small glass of wine and suddenly I remember that I’ve been haven’t gone to the bathroom since I put the dinner on the table. So I make my way to the bathroom thinking that it’s safe until I hear the knob turn and I see two eyes staring at me. Followed by, “Mommy, I not sleepy. Are you going potty?” To which I answer, “Yes I am and go to bed, NOW!” Then I get a long sigh and an okay, followed by a door slam and then a laugh as I hear he has not gone to bed, but rather off and chasing the blind dog! When I emerge from the bathroom I find the blind dog being chased by a 2.5 year old who is the size of the average 4 year who has taken his pajama pants off his behind and placed them on his head! So now I have to break up this joyful nighttime race, lead the toddler back to bed, remove his pants from his head, place them back on his bottom and cover him up. Mutter something about you better not get out of that bed again and reminding him it’s bed time and close the door on his fake crying. I finally make it back to the kitchen and my glass of wine, take a sip and go back to cleaning up the destruction of tornado Jax and hurricane Bam Bam. If I’m lucky… I can get some research, blogging or reading done. If I’m really really lucky I can catch a television show or two before I fall out. I forgot to mention the painful reminders that I really should be sitting because I just had surgery……
Hmmm…so should I tell him about my evenings or should I lie? One little white lie won’t hurt right? Oh God…I’m gonna be single FOREVER!
