On The Eve of The First Day of School

Last week I found a great school for my hooligan! Yes, after all my searching and heartache, a blessing fell right into my lap. A blessing that is not to far from home, yet I never knew was there. But they have everything I was looking for, for a price that I can’t argue with. As soon as I met with Jax’s potential teacher, I became just as excited as he was! It was great! The following week, my baby would begin preschool. Then it sunk in, my baby was going to begin preschool! Now Jax had been in school before for a few months in San Antonio. He was at a really really great school. But because of his age and the prep, it felt more like a daycare and a break for me. But now I’m buying a backpack, a folder, a lunchbox and… *gasp* BIG BOY UNDERWEAR!!! They have a diaper or underwear policy and since Jax is doing very well in his potty training we just jumped from Pull-ups to underwear! My baby will go to school in under-roos! How the hell did all this happen? When was it okay for my toddler to become a little dude with a pee-chee folder & under-roos?!

I’ll admit, I cried while I cut his sandwich into little squares and cleaned out his new lunch bag. I even teared up as he sat and thought about which backpack he really wanted. I mean here I was standing in an aisle with the child I’m pretty sure I just gave birth to, trying to get him to decide between the Cookie Monster and the Phineas & Ferb backpacks. How the hell did this happen? Are you trying to tell me that next he’ll be going into Junior High? No, I don’t accept that. In fact I’m going to throw myself into a vacuum¬†of denial for the next few weeks! That might help me wrap my head around the fact that I had a toddler last week and now I have a preschooler.

I swear it sounded like a good idea last week. Yea, Jax should go to school. Then I can have some time during the week to work and do things that need to be done. I mean it’s only a few days a week. But now as I sit here with his backpack and nap sack staring me down, I’m wondering if it was such a good idea. Not questioning if he’s ready. I’m questioning if I’m ready. After three years of being with his everyday all day, taking care of his every need. I was his mother, teacher, playmate, driver, chef and dance partner over the past three years. Being at home with my son has taught me so much. I feel very blessed that I was able to be at home with him, which is an opportunity that most women do not have. And up to this point, I’ve done a pretty good job. Now it’s time to make room for a new player on the team, team Jax. It’s crazy. I never realized as a child why my parents were so nervous and involved in my education. I never realized how much trust they had to place in my teachers and administrators overseeing my education. I’ve always had a great respect and love for teachers. But now as I hand my child over to his new preschool teacher, I’ve found that I have a whole new respect for educators. I find that I want to give what I can to make her job easier and the environment more comfortable for my child to learn in. Yes, I’m excited and motivated, but I’m also nervous and apprehensive. Good God, woman, he’s only going to preschool a few days a week!! LOL! I know, I know…but you know. You get it!…..It’s the first day of school!